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The Expendables

The Expendables is an action-war film written, directed and starring Sylvester Stallone. It has an all-star cast of action stars on top of that including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The movie centers on a mercenary group led by Stallone’s character (Barney Ross). Statham (Lee Christmas) plays his second in command and best friend.

The team is contacted about a mission to a small island to assassinate a dictator. While on recon on the island, the team finds an ex-CIA operative behind the scenes pulling the dictator’s strings. At first, Stallone’s character declines the job. They decide to finally accept it because of a woman they met while scouting out the dictator’s forces and layout of the island.

Due to the line-up of actors and the previews I did not expect much in the way of acting and plot in this movie. The acting and dialog were about what I expected, overly campy and cheesy. The most interesting character, as far as dialogue goes, was Jet Li’s character. He was constantly complaining that things were harder for him because he was smaller than the rest of the members of the team. There was attempts at humor from the other characters. However, the dialogue written for them was just not very good. Also, they were not quite over the top enough to drop back into the realm of funny.

A movie like this, obviously, cannot rest on its acting to pull it along. Instead, it must rely upon its action sequences. I went into this movie expecting great fight scenes, explosions, and general mayhem. I was disappointed. The hand to hand fights were incredible. Even though Stallone is past his Rambo prime, he performed quite well in these fights. The rest of the characters were also quite amazing. The fight that promised the most was between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Randy Couture. These two professional fighters went at it and it was incredible, unfortunately, this fight did not last very long.

Where the action fell short was whenever shooting guns or explosions were involved. When most of the actors were firing their guns they did it in such a way so to look cheesy and fake. The exception to this was Statham and Couture; they performed admirably in this area. Stallone was by far the worst at shooting his gun; he always seemed to be randomly waving his gun around in the direction of the bad guys. The smaller explosions were decent, but the bigger ones were CG, and horrible CG at that.

This movie was not the worst movie I have seen, but it was not very good. I was not expecting much going into it, but it did not even reach my very low bar I had set. This movie promised me great action and explosions and did not deliver. The acting was a tad bit worse than I was expecting. The brief scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger was pretty funny, but all too brief. It’s Geektime gives The Expendables movie a disappointed 4 on the d10 of explosions.

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